Blog #2 Part 2: Conflict in Relationships

While conflict is something that everyone wants to avoid, it is good to know that it is natural in relationships. Relationships are not always smooth, but a little conflict here and there does not mean that your relationship is unhealthy. Conflict will always arise when there is a disagreement of opinion. Maybe you want to cheese pizza, but your partner wants pepperoni. The thing that matters most is not necessarily the conflict itself, but how you deal with or solve the conflict.

Interpersonal conflict can be sorted into 3 dimensions: content, relational, and procedural. The content dimension is the specific reason from which the conflict started. For example, say you get into an argument with someone because they hit you. The assault would be the content of the conflict. Next, would be the relational dimension. Another part of the conflict is the fact that you don’t like this person at all now because they tried to injure you. This would be the relational dimension of the conflict, which will take time to heal. Lastly, is the procedural dimension of conflict, which are the “rules or expectations individuals follow for how to engage in conflict”. Some people like to avoid conflict or talking about the issue, while others like to directly engage the other in a discussion. To resolve a conflict effectively, you must find common ground by means of communication.

Conflict can also be dealt with directly or indirectly. The more common way of expressing conflict is directly. When most people have conflicts, they deal with them openly by talking or arguing about the situation. For example, if I had an argument with my roommate about keeping the room clean, we could talk about it directly and communicate to see what our point of views are. The other way of expressing conflict is indirectly. For example, with the same conflict about keeping the room clean with my roommate, instead of talking with my roommate I may sweep everything to his or break his things when he is not there. This is an example of expressing conflict indirectly, hoping it will resolve itself eventually. Conflict must be handled accordingly or it can be harmful to personal well-being.